When your entire living room is littered with sneakers. Worse off, when your entire living room is littered with sneakers of the same color, meaning you have to sift through them to make pairs and decide which are actually the newest ones. (The following is sadly an actual picture from mine and Noah’s front closet. This is not all of them.)
When you’re upset you slept in. Like yesterday, I wanted to run because the weather was absolutely perfect here in New York City. But after 3 consecutive 5-mile runs, and a past-made promise to myself not to overdo it, I decided that I’d be better off spending my Wednesday strength training like I had planned. Still, I couldn’t shake the sense of loss I felt all day long. Sorry, everyone who had to deal with my crankyass.
When your entire laundry load is athletic gear. This also begs the question, am I really washing my work clothes, or do I think that, since I’m not sweating profusely in whatever I wear to the office, it’s “clean.” Running is all relative.
When holes on the bottom of your foot no longer shock you. Last week, I spent an entire 4-hour car ride to western Pennsylvania picking at a massive lack of skin on the heel of my left foot. Gross? Yes. It might be time to finally invest in some good running socks, says Noah.
When you refuse to give up the Kayano 12s even though they’re on the 13s, the 13s even though they’re on the 14s, and so on. For the longest time, I didn’t even realize that the style number referred to the iteration of the shoe. Then I got a (literally) rude awakening from a crabby salesman at Paragon Sports, who informed me that no, they did not have my sneaker—because they were no longer manufactured.
When you forget your credit card. Well, when you forget your credit card and you happen to run past a food festival, farmers’ market, beer garden or ice cream truck. Do you think they’ll believe me if I promise to pay them later? Honor system!
When the water fountains haven’t been turned on yet. More of a spring runner’s problem, I suppose. But a very valid one at that, especially when you plan an entire route based on the existence of water fountains, and not a single one has been activated yet.
When there’s a line at Starbucks. And it’s not the one you wait on for a skinny vanilla late.
When you accidentally ate the entire bread basket. But it’s totally fine, because you’re “fueling” for a race. Next month.
When you haven’t done your hair in a month. This one’s more for the ladies, but is nevertheless self-explanatory. Why would I do my hair? I mean, it’s just gonna get sweaty again in like, 12 hours.
When you run out of frozen dark chocolate peanut M&M’s. No? Is that one just me?
When you think the guy across the street can smell you. Sweat’s awesome, but there are some things deodorant can’t mask. Like the stench of running in 100 percent humidity. #NYRunnerProblems
When you accidentally left butt cheek imprints on your foam roller. Because you thought it was appropriate to sit on it while doing all of your work.
When you can’t decide what to wear for the day. Neon green Nike shorts with the pocket in the front or black Lululemon shorts with the pocket in the back? White tank? Black tank? Thick socks? Thin socks? Headband? Ahh!
When you have a fever. And the only prescription is
more cowbell to sign up for another race — stat!
When you’re out of shorts. (Sigh.) Again.
When you finally accept the language. But refuse to actually say the term “fartlek” out loud. “Speed work” will do just fine.
When you find your Google searches getting stranger and stranger. The one that sticks out most in my head is “deep ass throbbing” (which turned out to be spot on; I came up with piriformis syndrome fast!). More recently it’s “inner knee pain,” which is more elusive, apparently.
- On that note, any idea what my inner knee pain could be?
- Your turn! What are your biggest runner’s problems?